Chloe & Lori: Respectability Politics and Why You Should Take Notes

If you only want women being sexy and available for your consumption… just say that. Furthermore, if you are mad because you did not live your best life when you were in your twenties you can lean into your truth and say that too. If you are bothered by Chloe Bailey showing off her gorgeous figure or Lori Harvey unapologetically dating whomever she wants to then you should ask yourself, why are these women’s choices to live their lives freely unconventional and taboo to you?

Over the past couple of weeks, these women’s choice’s have been under the microscope as if anyone asked insecure men and slut shaming women their opinion on these women’s lives and to be honest, all we truly know is what they post because none of us know them like that. However, I will extend an olive branch and simply highlight that the majority of these individuals are simply victims of the greater society’s push for women to fit into carefully constructed boxes and that’s it. I will also venture to say that unchecked biases and pick me syndrome may also be a reason why people’s twitter fingers have been nonstop; however, I would like push the issue further and argue that we all can take some notes from both of these women and the way in which they define their lives.

Respectability politics make arguments like women who date multiple men are hoes and those who show their bodies are also a part of the hoe community which has caused many women (yes, even myself) to shy away from their true desires in order to be considered a lady at least once in their lives. As a nearly 30 year old, I can pinpoint when I started to feel okay with my sex appeal as well as when I felt confident enough to date whomever I felt like dating and for however long I desired to do so which was 25. This means for all of my undergrad years and literally half of my 20s I was so concerned with what people deemed as acceptable that I stifled my own sense of self and my awareness of my sexuality.

What we are witnessing from our devices are two women in their early 20’s who are basically saying, “fuck what y’all talking about” and living their lives out loud. I definitely identify with Chloe’s coming of age post which showed her fine self doing it for the gram because I too started posting more things that highlighted my curves once I began to love them (which was a journey within it self). Additionally, Lori is the GOAT when it comes to this dating game and has done so without being trapped with a kid which we know is a defeat nowadays… especially considering she was with Future who might just be the most fertile being on the planet.

Let us not forget to note that both of these women are under 25 years old while some women who are their seniors are still holding back on wearing that fitted dress and dating openly even though men do it all of the time with their peers edging them on. On the other hand, these men who are labeling both of these women as less than because of their comfortableness with themselves are the same ones who couldn’t pull either one of them even if they were the last man on earth.

Whether you are a woman or a man, I strongly urge you to think about your life when you were in your early 20s and pinpoint when did you first feel sexy or desirable? Do you think you lived your life to the fullest to this date? If not, what are you waiting for? Because Chloe and Lori are clearly in their primes and some of y’all friends, sisters, cousins, and mommas (or yourself) have never experienced that type of freedom.